OPEN LETTER TO MEN WITH SEMEN BUT NO BALLS

Here is a perfect issue to roll out the ol’ whiteboard. I’m ready to officially declare an epidemic in the matter of “We are waiting to find out the sex of the baby until delivery” being the official party response, even though the man portion of the “WE” is dying to know NOW. What caused today’s future fathers to forfeit their role in the decision making process due to their lack of current possession of the child?


I will start with the concession of some points, so they don’t become a distraction in the discussion. I will concede that:
* The mother carries the baby 24/7 and has to deal with all the morning sickness, kicks in the ribs, hiccups, etc.
* The mother is going to be the feeding station for the first few months.
* There is a certain bonding process that is taking place between mother and child as a result of the harvesting and sheltering of said baby.

These reasons alone are not justification for the mother having the overarching say in the decision to know the sex of the baby. I understand the prevalent argument that “We want it to be a surprise”. This argument is a cliché and doesn’t apply here. Regardless of when the sex is unveiled, ultrasound vs. delivery, it’s going to be a surprise. Even if the man has super sperm, he can’t control the sex of the baby. Therefore, now or later, you get the same surprise.

I will not concede to the point that the mother is going to be the primary caregiver and therefore gets additional share of the parental votes. Dirty diapers, kids with gas, midnight screams and spit up down the front of a sleeper are agnostic events, not tailored to a mother or a father. You just have to be present to participate, and both should be present (for those presents).

I contend that there are several ramifications brought on by this exclusion of the father’s wishes. The father’s in utero bonding takes place on a distant program via the mom, but the identification of sex allows the father to add a degree of specificity to the relationship. If it’s a girl, he can begin to dream and plan for those father daughter dates, the trip to American Girl in Chicago where he will hemorrhage cash, and whatever else you do with a girl. If it’s a boy, he can think of all the father son lessons like shaving, how to throw a ball, and how to ask for help at Home Depot. This tangible piece of information establishes the first step in the approach for fathering. On a more practical and tactical side, the identification of the sex allows for the proper decorating, wardrobe selection, and purchase of season tickets (if applicable).

Men, I know it is a delicate, and often dangerous, proposition to negotiate with a pregnant woman. It is more complex when you add logic into an area where emotions are running rampant. But it’s in your best interest for you to take a stand. If for no other reason, than for your buddies to remind you “If you have a boy, you worry about one penis; if you have a girl, you worry about every penis”.

The whiteboard is open. I’m ready for all those who agree or disagree to enlightened me or share success stories of those using this to reestablish their position.