January Thought Nuggets

The finger is better, so I’ll attempt to catch up with a mind cleansing edition of random nuggets.

When I heard about the passing of Gordon Hinckley, head of the Church of Latter Day Saints, I was stuck with a pang of nostalgia. I remembered back to days when I was little and wished there were Latter Day Saints in my neighborhood that I could join. The appeal of this religious group wasn’t grounded in their approach to eternal life (for me and all my ancestors), instead their marketing campaign spoke to me about a better way of life. Initially, I would receive this colorful stamps in the mail (these were actually junk mail, but I always felt entitled to something since I got the mail) that I could use in my various childhood games of Army General or smaller version of Mr. Wizard. Then while watching TV, I saw what it meant to be a Latter Day Saint—Ice Cream and smiles. I always remember the commercials with old people and young people laughing and smiling, often eating an ice cream cone while playing outside with their dog. This commercial spoke to the areas of my life that defined my pursuits of happiness, so I wanted to join this magical organization. As I grew older, I learned that this imagery was just a façade and ice cream was a gateway drug into a life of Mormonism. So my search for happiness shifted to more obtainable pursuits. Not because I’m not opposed to Mormons, just “isms”.

All this talk about last weeks Fed Rate cut and whether or not there is a need to stimulate the economy got me thinking--Can you over stimulate the economy? What does an over stimulated economy look like? I would love to see an economic condition that mimics the hyperactive ramblings of Katlin from SNL. Shouldn’t we strive for this level of energy and enthusiasm on Wall Street? As an ancillary benefit, we would get to see a conversation between Katlin and Jim Cramer from Mad Money discussing the Financial Service Sector and the impact that the Euro is having in the Asian markets.

I’m willing to take a shift on Brittany suicide watch. This saga can’t end and I’m willing to do my part to make sure no premature harm abridges this story. The nation needs its resident crazy celeb to give Meredith Vera something to contribute on the Today Show. Who needs writers when there is an unscripted mental health outbreaks on CNN? Brittany, Dr. Phil is lacing your dogs’ clothes with a mind altering drug. It’s a trap. If something were to happen to Brittany, I think one of the Olsen Twins moves to the top of the list of Craziest Celeb.

Please, someone make me the winner of a trip for 4 to Bora Bora? Honestly, what’s better than taking 12 steps from your bed and being immerged in crystal clear water? A forecast of falling ice is not appealing.

As an act of mercy, all banana flavored candy needs to be removed from the general candy population. Nothing squash to the spirit of a sugar dependent cube dweller, then walking up to a reliable candy dish on a co-workers desk, only to find the bottom filled with only Banana Laffy Taffy. I’ve had it. Sell the banana stuff in specialty shops and AARP magazines, catering to people with diminished taste buds. VIVA la FLAVOR!!!

Write Something Dammit

Update-- My finger is not broken, instead fractured. I can once again return to some of my normal activity and must stop whining around the house. Why is my finger fractured? It is either because I'm too stubborn to realize that I shouldn't be engaging in basketball games with guys in their 20s or that the subtle art of the bounce pass is a lost art and dislocated phalanges are cool.

Anyways, I went to the hand specialist yesterday and he said that I have to tape my fingers but could “Play tomorrow if I needed to”. I can understand that sitting across from me could confuse a medical professional that I’m a physical specimen that is crucial to every pick up basketball game, but I told him that I would be taking the next two weeks off.

The biggest relief was the doctor telling me he wasn’t going to have to re-brake or re-set the fracture. I envisioned a scene out of Misery that ended with me weeping as I left the doctor’s office. The rational side of my brain tried to make the case that medicine has advanced to a level where this type of procedure would be quick and painless, but the side that houses pain could not be swayed from the ugly torture that is a Physical Therapist.

I will now attempt to get back to typing using capital letters and the letters on the left side of the keyboard. New stuff coming from me soon.

Happy Belated B-Day Dr. King

Since college, I’ve made it a yearly practice to re-read Letter from Birmingham Jail on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day. If you’ve never read it, or haven’t read it in a while, I encourage you to take 30 minutes and read the words of a man who was incarcerated after a peaceful protest and used his time alone to answer the criticism of his fellow ministers.

Dr. King’s manner of patience, civility and reasoning with logic amazes me each time I read this piece. I have always identified more with Malcolm X’s response to the segregation of the 1960’s and the establishment of separate but equal way of life. The duality between Malcolm X and Dr. King fascinates me. Each of these men worked at the opposite end of the spectrum to resolve to the same problem. Dr. King took a top down approach, working at a macro level with the leaders of the establishment to create change from the outside in. Malcolm worked at a micro level to create on a sense of Nationalism, where rights weren’t derived, but instead assumed through economic freedom. Each approach helped to expand the conversation, encouraging others to join in the remedy, and enable the next generation to stand on their shoulders for a greater achievement.

I often wonder what these transformational leaders would say about the issues of discrimination and how it’s manifesting itself today. Would they see same prejudice mindset enclosed in new wrapping (The Jena Six, Proposed Immigration Policies or Civil Unions vs. “Marriage”) or would they see progress being made (a nationally viable Presidential candidate of color, minority ownership in across corporate America) as the fruits of their labor decades ago continue to blossom?

Stand and Introduce Yourself.

Hi, I’m Mark and I’m an addict.

Addict might be to strong a word, since the need for a compulsion that leads to withdrawals hasn't presented itself, but there is definitely a compelling desire that consumes my thoughts. I would classify myself as a book enthusiast if I didn’t buy two books this afternoon and still have to stop at the library on the way home from work to get a book I had on reserve. Does this make me an addict? I enjoy reading books, talking about books, reading about people talking about new books, the thrill of walking into a book store and seeing the new releases, and the ecstasy when walking into a library with the knowing I can take anyone home that I wish. I could spend hours getting lost in the stacks of paper and stitched binding, looking at new subjects or new authors located in isles. I love the way a new hardback’s spine cracks when I open the cover, the way a new paper back smells as I flip the pages, the level of anticipation that builds on page one, and the despair of parting as I finish the last page. I think the act of smelling books entitles me for some sort of aid.

This could be classified as some developmental delay. My backlog of purchased books is hovering close to 20, but I can’t stop the search for the next good read. Inevitably, something sparks my interest and I’m off to investigate. Just like a shinning object and a kid with short attention span (another condition that I'm afflicted with). Those 20 books will most likely keep me busy until mid summer; yet, I will not be able to rest until I spend the $50 in Barnes and Noble gift cards.

I need help!!!!

One More Time

My “Scissor…” essay will be Friday’s feature on INDIE BLOGGER. You can stop by and take a look with a sense of “Hey, I know that guy” and check out some of the other writers frequenting this site.

JUST JAM THE SCISSORS IN MY EAR

I’m surrounded with a sense of Déjà vu. American Gladiators are on every Monday night, Knight Ridder premiers next week and Rambo will soon be in the theaters. Pop culture is a cyclical phenomena that must follow a rotation of I love the 80’s on VH-1. In the short term, I need to know if mullets or rat tails are coming back into style soon, because I desperately need a hair cut and I’m reluctant to schedule an appointment.

What is the source of my hesitancy? I just want my haircut, not an experience!

Marketing has taken over the world of shearing. Gone are the days of a simple haircut, with a wash and style … welcome to the world of experience based sculpting. Long ago men and women would stop by the local barber shop or beauty salon for a quick trim and style. The barber would provide a little informative conversation while he would sharpen his straight razor on a leather strap and apply a dab of warm shaving cream to the back of your neck. If you had to wait behind a few other patrons when you arrived, there was a checker board and a magazine to pass the time. I have no idea what the hell women did, but the word permanent was used. Fast forward to present day, when I need a haircut I must select a location and its corresponding theme.

Here are the options before me:

1. New Century Barber Shop- The new century combines ESPN based sports viewing on a personal flat screen TV with hair cutting. The sports world dominates every other chamber of my life, I don’t want my hair cut by a guy in a jersey would has watched SportsCenter for the 8th time today. I remember college and the diminishing mental implications of watching Sports Center more than 3 times in a row.

2. Night Club Cutters-- I can go to a stylist that that has its own liqueur license and will provide alcoholic beverages while I’m getting trimmed. As a general rule of thumb….Loose hair floating in my beverage is not appealing idea. In theory, alcohol makes every experience trendier, but anyone operating cutting shears, scissors or open blades near my head should be 100% sober.

3. The Salon- I believe this is the evolution of the beauty shop, but men and women are permitted. You can tell a salon by windows are blacked out, there is a mirrored ball spinning in the air as the sound of techno music creates a rhythm for the stylist to keep time with their gum. There are guy and girls getting their hair and nails done in a high energy, uni-sex environment.

4. The $ 9 chain whackers- Located in every strip mall across America, recent beautician graduates are getting some time in their chair at a discounted price where an appointment is never necessary. Every time I come out of these places my hair is shaped on my head like a missile silo. During one cut, the lady cutting my hair accidentally shaved a line in the back of my hair and failed to mention it during the cut, so that she could have corrected it. During the inspection when they hand you the mirror and spin you around to see the back, I noticed the line and asked about it. She replied “That’s a blond area of your hair”. This was a great surprise considering I’ve always had black hair.

5. The Old Timer-- There is an old time barber in my home town that I could go to for a cut if I wanted a scaled down experience. The problem with the local ol’ time barber is that whatever style I tell him, his brain translates that into “FLAT TOP”.

Where is the compromise between a decent hair cut without all the fluff? If my head was shaped less like a relief map of the NorthEast, I would think about going bald. With the options in front of me, this might just become a mohawk summer--sucka.

Ban Together

The newest member of our bearded bunch is buckling under the social pressure. David Letterman is sporting an award winning beard, but plans to shave it on Monday's show. The Book of Beards clearly states that the winter beard can not be shaved until the weather is regularly over 50 degrees for the high and 32 for the low.

Don't do it Dave!!!

Bored @ work on Friday

Ponder this:

• Sign of aging--Stopping for coffee on the way to work has replaced the joy of stopping for a 12 pack of beer on the way home from work?

• What are the odds in Vegas that Kevin Ferderline is the father of the latest Spears pregnancy?

• Wasting Time for a Good Cause- GOOGLE IMAGE Google has created a game that helps to identify the random images on the web. They match you up with some random person and then you are each shown an unidentified image. You guess until your answer matches and the tag is then attached to the picture. To make this worthwhile, they attach a score to your effort so your competitive energies can flourish.

• Wasting Time for a Great Cause- Where does a desire to waste some time at work, while helping feed the hungry and increase your vocabulary converge? FREE RICE This site provides 20 grains of rice for every word that you get correct. It also gives you a rating of your verbal ability. A few 100 grains of rice per day can feed an adult. I can rationalize this activity as a better investment of wasted time than 5 games of solitaire.