With Halloween next week, I was thinking back to the days when I was a kid. The allure of a haunted house created anticipation for the arrival of the event and left excitement for days after. Now that I’m older and I know that the experience is not real, it lost its luster. So I started thinking. What type of attraction would be could create the same degree of fear for adults?
THE WAITING ROOM TO HELL!!!!
Who wouldn’t skip a silly haunted house or corn maze if you could go to this attraction? I have no interest in managing a facility of this type, but have laid out the basic characteristics for any entrepreneur out there who wishes to advance the Halloween experience.
Must have items:
* The smell of burnt hair is in the air (similar to the smell the first time you turn your heater on for the year)
* Hot and humid room temperature (95-98 degrees)
* All men must wear a suit and tie
* Phil Collins is playing in the background.
* The soda machine will only have Cream Soda and Hawaiian Punch
* The only available magazines are a Redbook, Family Circle, and the National Review.
* The guest should be provided with something to give them a bad taste in their mouth and they are only permitted to have Butterscotch candies in their pocket
* All the wicker chairs are filled with circus clowns, people refer to themselves in the 3rd person, and anyone taking pride in ND’s 1-7 record (Did you really think GOD wouldn’t notice? His boy has season tickets)
* The overhead lights are flickering, in that pulsing way they do before they die.
* You really have to use the bathroom, but Pat Robertson has is in there and has no sign of coming out.
* There is a Huge Flat screen TV showing a re-run of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Ryan Seacrest is hosting.
This would defiantly scare the shit out of me.
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