December Thought Nuggets

• The day will quickly come where we will all curse Guitar Hero. Today, it’s a novelty game for kids to play in their own homes, simulating guitar cords of past songs. My main concern isn’t that these simulated actions will translate into popular music since lip syncing is common place and the progression of band also faking their instruments can’t be far off. I’m fearful of the day when Karaoke is replaced in public bars and restaurants by Guitar Hero, where drunken middle age men and women proudly take the stage and try to embody Slash’s playing of Sweet Child O’ Mine.
  


• I don’t understand adults who tear a stick of gum in half. How can ½ of a stick of gum be satisfying? Are times so tough that you need to ration gum?


• It baffles me that I like Coldplay. Chris Martian’s suicide inducing music use to make me long for an anything else to be on the radio. Now, I find myself singing along and contemplating downloading there CDs into my MP3 player. The concerning part is that this transformation isn’t an isolated incident. The same thing is starting to happen with U2 songs. What’s happening to me? Is this a sign of aging or is my inner England coming out?



• The need for a Federal line item veto is a no-brainer. The Executive Branch has to be the final sanity check and gate keeper for financial responsibility.
  
  
• Is Santa really a word jumble for Satan? Could this be the best practical joke every played?



• Is there anyone cooler than Jay-Z right now? He’s creating great music, running multiple business lines, and having dinner with President Clinton.



• Whose idea was it to exile black lights? For Christmas, I would like for black lights return as the interior design must have. Nothing makes a room pop like black light art of a Tiger or Bob Marley framed in a cloud of smoke.
  
• Can I get a new special skill? I feel a little cheated that my special quality is that I’m the world’s fastest bleeder. I have veins that would make a heroin addict envious and can have blood drained in record time (which is good for blood banks, but not so great at the scene of an accident). This skill has to rank right after being a good scrabble player or someone that knows the names of all the leaves.



• Why isn’t there more mention of the fact that there is a Presidential Candidate named Rudolf around the holiday season?



• Is anyone really watching reruns? I was once a devoted fan of Cheers reruns every night after dinner, but in a day of DVR, who chooses to watch a rerun when you can stockpile new programming to be viewed at on your schedule? DVR is no longer a cool add-on to your cable service; it is now a quality of life essential for any TV viewer. (This doesn’t apply to the occasional 90210 episode on the SOAP channel. Not that I would watch that, but I would understand from a nostalgic perspective).



• Hey Elmo, Shut it!! Why is the speaker on my kids Holiday Singing Elmo set to a level that makes my ears bleed? Christmas Songs sung by Elmo are torture enough, but at 157 decibels, this is just plain merciless.
  
  
• Show me a man in shorts when it’s snowing and I’ll show you an asshole.