THE PLAGUE OF BLACK FRIDAY

Submission for IndieInk's weekly writers challenge.

“There’s no way in hell!” Aimee said emphatically.

“You’re my sister; it’s your moral obligation to say yes.” Lucy answered.

“The only obligation that qualifies me for 3:30 AM participation involves a scenario where you are trapped in the trunk of a car after you’ve been abducted.” Aimee said.

“What if I was arrested and sitting in jail?” Lucy questioned.

“That one could wait until at least 7 AM.” Aimee replied.

“You would make me sit in a cold and dirty cinder block cell for three and a half hours, for the sake of an uninterrupted night of sleep?” Lucy pressed.

“Lucy, it’s not the 1920’s and the county no longer fashions jail cells out of cinder blocks.” Aimee reasoned.
“Secondly, letting you sit for a little while you consider you’ve done will build character and I don’t want to deprive you of this time of self-reflection at the expense of my final REM cycle. On the bright side, I would have one of those Pumpkin Lattes waiting for you in the car for the ride home.”

“What if I promise to wait until at least 7 AM for any future bail posting needs and you agree to go with me tomorrow morning?” Lucy negotiated.

“No.” Aimee replied.

“Come on, where is your sense of adventure?” Lucy said.

“My adventure has been suppressed by the cold and wet forecast. Why can’t you just shop online like normal well-adjusted employed members of society?” Aimee questioned.

“Because I’ve thought of the perfect gift for Jimmy, but I can’t really afford it without the 30% door buster gift cards they are handing out.” Lucy said.

“For Jimmy?” Aimee asked in a confused tone. “You’re dragging me into the belly of retail hell for a guy that you are planning to break up with after New Year’s Eve?” 

“I said I might break up with him after New Year’s,” Lucy reminded “and this gift is so perfect for him.”

“I’m sure he already has the Call of Duty voice activated wireless headset.” She said.

“He does, but this is much better. I found a Malachite and Amber medallion made out of Mother of Pearl in the shape of a Star.” She said.

“What is the poster boy for arrested development going to do with that?” Aimee wondered aloud.

“He told me all about the minerals healing powers.” Lucy explained.

“You’re fucking with me! What healing powers could a piece of mass produced Malachite provide? Are you seriously taking New Age healing advice from a guy with Justice League bed sheets?” Aimee said.

“Aimee, you’re not being fair and they weren’t Justice League bed sheets. You are thinking of his pair of red and blue house shoes with the Superman “S” on them.” Lucy reminded, as she tried to highlight the distinction.

“Yet, you still decided go on sleeping with him.” Aimee relied with a chuckle.

“They were kind of cute.” Lucy confessed.

“Cute in a freshman year crush kind of way or cute in a fixer up-I see potential kind of way?” Aimee asked.

“Even if this magical power stuff is bull shit, what can it hurt?” Lucy said in an effort to refocus the conversation. “Chalk it up to another talisman in the long line of self-healing items sold every day by everyone from the shady magnet bracelet guys at mall kiosks to the officially blessed gift shop items located at the Vatican.”

“However, in each of those cases, I don’t have to wake up early on my day off to act as an accessory in the continuation of their brand of psychosis. I prefer endorse bat shit crazy causes that operate during more civilized hours.” Aimee said.

“Enough fighting, you’re going.” Lucy declared.

“Sorry sis, it’s not going to happen.” Aimee replied in a tone to match her unwavering stance.

“Either I’m picking you up at 3:15 for a pre-dawn morning bonding adventure,” Lucy explained, “or I’m registering you as a Chapter Founder and member of The Guilty Remnant—along with a special request for a personal home visit to receive personalized guidance.”

“Oh…you suck!” Aimee responded with a hint of pride in her sister’s resourcefulness.

“See in you in a little bit, Sunshine. I’ll bring the lattés.” Lucy said.

“Bet your ass you will.” Aimee muttered as she hung up the phone with a grin.

This week’s IndieInk Challenge came from Grace O'Malley, who gave me this prompt: Malachite and amber, mother of pearl and stars. I challenged Lisa with the prompt Oh Shit…this is going to hurt.